Cook, Matilda and Mr. Glenfiddich stood at the door, while Giles helped me to carry the one suitcase I had, to the waiting car. The car that would drive me all the way to Edinburgh. Admittedly, I was afraid of what waited for me beyond the mist.
My guardian, Mr. Belvedere, was nowhere to be seen, as expected. I did not really think he was going to say goodbye to me, even though during the last few weeks I was tempted to march to his study and demand he told me about my parents, but my thin facade of confidence and bravery was fragile.
I hugged Cook goodbye, and let my arms stretch around her plumpness, while the strands of her hair which escaped the always present bun on her head tickled the folds of my neck.
“Bye, Child,” she sniffed. I pulled away from her and she kept her hands on my shoulders. Looking at me intently, she insisted, “Now, you come visit, you hear?”
I nodded my head, too afraid to speak, because saying anything would have started an avalanche of tears.
Matilda’s skinny frame pulled me into her and if felt as if she was crushing my bones. She was the closest person I had to a mother figure and she was crying discreetly. She said, as I pulled away from her, “I’ll miss you, Amber. I’ve looked after you since you were a little bundle and now, you’re so grown up. I wish there was a way I could have prepared you for the big world out there.”
“I’ll be okay,” I said as I moved to Mr. Glenfiddich. Even though I had the urge to hug him goodbye as well, I stuck out my hand. He took my hand in both of his and said, “You are well-prepared for school. Don’t be worried.”
Schoolwork was the least of my worries.
As I climbed into the back seat of the car, which would take me into foreign, unknown territory, I was petrified.
Cook, Matilda and Mr. Glenfiddich waved as Giles drove the car away from them, and for a moment, I wanted to open the car door, jump out and run back into Matilda’s arms and say I had changed my mind.
I would rather want to stay with them, rather be hidden away from the world behind a shroud of clouds. However, the excited anticipation of discovering everything I had read about in books edged me to look forward.
As the car drove along the paved road, while tall trees loomed on either side of us, I still felt trepidation. My fingers rested on the lever of the door. I was going to pull that lever, open the door, jump out of the moving vehicle and then I was going to run back to the safety of the castle.
I was still contemplating doing this when Giles drove the car through the mist, and I looked up at a blue sky so big it made me feel small. I marvelled at the sight on the long drive and we arrived in Edinburgh late that night.
As I looked out of the window to my side and watched the approaching city, the buildings were large and imposing, a million lights twinkled from windows and streetlights. Looming over the city was Edinburgh Castle, and no matter where I looked it was always there in my peripheral, no matter where my eyes were directed. It was as if the building made sure a person was always aware of its presence. There were people and cars everywhere.
It felt very overwhelming.
© Lynette Ferreira
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