On a cloudy Saturday afternoon, just before Christmas Break, I pull on my jacket and wrap my winter scarf around my neck a few times. Wrapped up warmly, I go out for a walk. Jane has gone off with Kevin and being alone in the empty apartment, although I was busy studying, is getting to me.
Before I realize where I am, I have walked all the way to Grafton Street. The warm lighted shops line the paved walkway. Colourful flower traders dot the pavement. Here and there buskers amuse and entertain the shoppers. Looking up at all the Christmas decorations along the buildings and in the shop windows, they all seem so much brighter here in the gloomy afternoon sky and I get lost in them. Memories of a Christmas almost ages ago, with Jared on a beach, halfway across the world, fill my mind. I think gloomily that we never spent a winter Christmas together.
My phone rings unexpectedly and I jump with fright. Laughing softly at myself, I look at the screen. I do not recognize the number. Impulsively I decide to answer it anyway. “Hello?” I speak into the phone.
“Hi Elizabeth. It's Joshua.”
I do not recognize the voice, or the name, but whoever it is knows me, so I answer politely, “Hi Joshua.”
He laughs and the sound is musical. “You don’t know who is speaking, do you?” His laugh is contagious, and I cannot help smiling. “No, I’m sorry, I don’t.”
“I am with you in your human development and behavioural science group.”
“Okay?” With sudden recollection I remember the ruffled, dark headed guy who always seems to be in my line of vision. “Oh, yes. Joshua. Sorry I have been preoccupied today.”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m phoning. You didn’t come to the extra study session today and I wanted to hear if you’re okay.”
Immediately I remember the study session and I cannot believe I missed it. I am usually the first one there, so I must really have been in a world of my own. I reply, “I’m fine, thank you. I just felt like taking a break today. I didn’t miss anything important, did I?”
“No, not really.”
Silence hums in my ear. “Well, okay then. Thanks for calling and being concerned. It was very nice of you.”
Before I can say goodbye, he interrupts me. There is a nervous pitch in his voice. “A group of us are going to the Abbey Theatre tonight. We are going to see a pantomime and I was wondering if you would go with me.”
“Oh.” I catch my breath. I consider declining, but then I reconsider and decide spontaneously it could do me no harm to go out. After all, Jared did not come to Trinity. He has not even tried to contact me, and I have no way of knowing where he is. Even though I asked him to leave, he did not fight, he just walked away after he promised repeatedly, he would never let me go.
“Hello, Elizabeth?” Joshua interrupts my thoughts apprehensively.
I chuckle apologetically. “Sorry. Told you, all fuzzy brained today, and yes, I would love to go with you.”
I can hear the relief in his voice, as he asks, “Do you want me to pick you up or do you want to meet me there?”
“I'll meet you there.”
“So, I'll see you there at six. Is that okay?”
“Perfect.” I smile and, on a subtle level, I am a tiny bit thrilled.
“Okay. Bye Elizabeth.”
“Bye, Joshua.” I end the conversation.
When I get home, I quickly have a shower and wash my hair. I pull on a pair of dark jeans and a new burgundy-coloured jumper, which I bought impulsively on my way home. I put on a little bit of make-up.
Usually I wear Jared’s jacket everywhere I go, the one he borrowed to me on the beach that first night we met, but I feel it inappropriate to wear out tonight so I hang it carefully in my cupboard, after first hugging it tightly to my chest.
I call a taxi to collect me and on the dot six o’clock I arrive at the Abbey Theatre. There is a crowd of people gathered in front of the lobby and I look around to see if I can see Joshua. I am just about to turn around and walk away, because I am not sure if I would recognize Joshua in a different setting, when his friendly face pops up in front of me.
“Elizabeth. I am so glad you came, I thought you might stand me up.” I smile. “Now, honestly, do I look like the type?”
“Not really. Come let’s go in—yeah?” Then he asks, “Do you want something to drink?”
“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”
He leads me to our seats, and I recognize a few of the other faces with us in the group. We squeeze past some of them already seated and our seats are right in the middle of the row. Some of them look up at me and they smile friendly. I cannot help getting the feeling they have been discussing me.
The pantomime is hilarious, and I cannot remember when last I laughed so much my tummy ached. I catch Joshua every now and again looking at me attentively, but I concentrate on the show.
At the end of the show when people start leaving, he turns to me and asks uncertainly, “It’s still early, do you want to go and have a coffee?”
I really enjoyed myself, so I agree. I am reluctant to go back to the quiet, lonely apartment.
We walk out, leaving his friends behind. He walks closely next to me, but not once does he touch me. We walk into the first coffee shop we see, and he steers me toward a table in the back corner.
I sit down and he asks, “What would you like to drink?”
“I would love a mocha chino.” I smile up at him.
He smiles in return and then goes to the counter to place our order.
I look at him standing at the service counter. His dark hair is curly and messy, almost touching his shoulders. His shoulders are strong and square. I noticed earlier that his lips match his rosy cheeks perfectly, and his eyes are strikingly blue. He has the face of an angel.
He comes back to the table with two cream doughnuts as well and, smiling bashfully, he says, “I thought you looked hungry, but if you don’t want it, you’re all right. I'll eat both.” He sits down and moves a doughnut and my mocha chino toward me.
I stir some sugar into my drink and take a sip.
Nice.
“You are not from here, are you?” He asks curiously.
“I’m not.” I smile. “We moved to Ireland about two years ago from South Africa.”
“How are you enjoying the weather?”
Always the same question. “I actually enjoy the cold. I love how it can rain for days and then suddenly one day you wake up and it is the most beautiful morning.”
He looks at me closely. Saying nothing, he takes a sip of his hot chocolate.
“How are you enjoying studying medicine?” I ask him.
“I love it. It is hard work as you know, but then I have never shied away from studying hard. Some might refer to me as a nerd.”
“You don’t look like a nerd.”
“And what does a nerd look like?” He asks me curiously, chuckling softly.
I laugh embarrassed and change the subject. “I know what you mean about the workload and thankfully I don’t have a social life or any romantic interests, because that would be totally ruined by now.”
“Yeah, what’s with that? I never see you at the socials and at college you always seem to be buried in your books.”
I smile and avoid looking at his face, staring into my mug. “Just trying to do well, make my parents proud. I am sure you know how it is.”
“Yeah, I sure do.”
My coffee is finished and so is his hot chocolate. I ate half the doughnut and he was right—I was hungry.
“Do you want to do anything else?” He asks.
“No, I think I'll go home, but I had a great time. Thanks for inviting me.”
“I'll walk you home.”
“I don’t just live around the corner.” I try to make excuses. I would rather just catch a taxi.
Just let it happen, Elizabeth.
“No, I don’t mind walking with you,” he insists.
He has been so nice, and I could not be rude now and tell him that I mind so, as I get up, I agree, “Okay, if you insist.”
We walk out the coffee shop together. He follows me as I turn toward the Liffey.
I look at him and say, “It’s quite a distance to walk.”
“I don’t mind.” He smiles.
I try to read his face, but he keeps his emotions hidden by looking away from me, across the road. We walk in silence for a while and then he says, “Elizabeth, you can ignore my next question if it is too personal, but I have noticed your smiles and your laughter never reach your eyes. Why?”
“They don't?” I avoid answering his question.
“No, they don’t, and I can hear you’re not going to tell me. I’m being too personal.”
I laugh too loudly. “It’s really not such a big issue.”
He does not insist, and we walk together companionably, talking about college and before I realize it, we are in front of my apartment block.
“This is me,” I say. “How far do you have to go now; do you need to phone a taxi?”
“No, I'll just go down and catch a train.”
“Do you want to come in first for coffee?”
“No, you’re all right. Thanks for coming with me though, I really enjoyed myself.”
“Thank you for inviting me. I don’t know when last I had so much fun, honestly.”
“I’m glad.” He smiles, giving me a serious look. “Good night, Elizabeth.” He waits for me to enter the access code and then waves to me as I enter the building.
© Lynette Ferreira
Delivery 2 - 3 weeks.
