During the next week when I am not doing physiotherapy, I am watching a lot of TV, and I mean a lot. I mostly watch cartoons and Cow and Chicken turn out to be my favourite mindless distraction.

My mum refurnished the den into a bedroom for me, because I am now, obviously, unable to go up and down the stairs. The doctor assured them this is only a temporary disability, so they only made short-term arrangements. Sean lights a fire in the fireplace every morning before starting on his latest project in his continuous quest in upgrading the manor.

After I literally drag myself out of bed by lunchtime each day, I snuggle up into a chair close by the fire and switch on the TV.

During the day, Esther is at school and my mum keeps herself busy, but at dinnertime I can see my mum and Sean looking at each other with concern as I only pick at my food.

One afternoon while I am dozing off in front of the TV, my mum walks in and I can see it is not going to be the usual, ‘How are you today?’ kind of talk. She sits down on the edge of the chair closest to me and takes my hand in hers. “You will be going back to school on Monday,” she says maternally.

I look at her amazed. “But I still feel awful.”

“The doctor says there is nothing wrong with you and you should have started school already.”

“But how can he tell how awful I feel on the inside?” I sulk.

“I don’t know what is going on with you. You used to discuss everything with me and now I know nothing, so I can honestly say I do not know what is going on in your head. The only way for you to get better is to pick yourself up and start your life again. The doctor agrees with me. Is this about Jared?”

“You must be happy we broke up. You were always telling me how young I was to be so serious over one boy and you obviously wanted me to have a new boyfriend every week. A person would think you would have been proud of me, rather than reprimanding me that I was not like most girls my age, like a butterfly, flirting from one flower to another,” I say angrily.

“But why break up with him the second you wake up? What happened to you while you were in that coma?”

“Why is everybody asking me that? How must I know anyway? I am unable to walk. Honestly, how can it be so difficult for everybody to understand?”

“Explain it to me. Why it is that you are not walking yet?”

“I just can’t. Sorry.”

Sighing exasperated, she changes the subject, “I met Jared’s mum last week in the supermarket and she is worried about him. They have not heard from him for over a month, and they have no way to contact him.”

“That’s funny. She was never worried about him when he was living under her roof,” I say sarcastically.

“That is not nice, Elizabeth. I heard she and Jared’s dad are getting divorced, and she has gone to a rehab facility. Rumour has it that she has not had a drink in three months.”

I smile bitterly. “Mum, you have really settled in here, haven’t you? Knowing all the gossip and scandals.”

She ignores my sarcastic tone, and says firmly, “Well, I know for sure that you missed a lot of school and this being your last year I will not have you sulking around, staring blankly at the TV all day long. You can be glad Sean convinced me to let you stay for the rest of this week, otherwise I would have dragged you out of bed this morning and all the way to school.”

“Drag being the operative word, right?”

“That is not what I meant, Elizabeth, and you know it.” Tears roll down my cheeks.

She smiles kindly. “If I have told you once, I have told you a million times, everything has its own time and place.”

“Fine. I'll go to school then,” I say stubbornly. I just want to be by myself again, to have her leave me alone and not to have her tell me that everything will be okay, when it would never be.

She stands up, leans down and hugs me. “You will be fine, trust me.” She gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze and, as she walks off, she says, “I have to fetch Esther now and I'll take the Peugeot. Why don’t you come with and then you can get out for a bit?”

“If you had forewarned me, but it would be nice tomorrow afternoon.” I smile, unwillingly, just to please her, while I point to my pyjamas.

The next afternoon she helps me into the passenger seat of my car, and I am in it for the very first time.

“You forgot your safety belt, Elizabeth,” my mum reprimands me when she starts the car.

“It did not help last time. I might not have died physically, but I am dead anyhow,” I say more to myself than to her.

She looks at me shocked and says angrily, “You have to snap out of this and accept change as a challenge. Jared might be gone but I want you to then replace him with something else, or someone else. Move on.”

I am angry with her, once again for her ignorance, so I take no notice of her for the rest of the journey. In my mind I tell Jared, ‘No, I would never trade these scenic roads for a highway.’

In the village I look for Jared’s Jeep. Maybe he would be walking into a shop or be somewhere in the village, but I do not see him anywhere. It is a hopeless expectation anyway, because did my mum not tell me he is still somewhere in Europe—having a jolly good time.

Once we are back at home again, I go back to watching TV. In my peripheral I see my mum shaking her head.

Whatever!

 

 

Monday, I wake up early with a struggle and get dressed for school with difficulty. I am most certainly not looking forward to it.

Jane knows I am coming and is waiting for me at the gate. She pushes my wheelchair down the hill, jabbering excitedly. As she walks past my old locker, she explains we were all allocated new lockers. There goes another memory of Jared.

It almost feels like my first day of school again, minus the hiding in the toilets. All the kids stare at me curiously, because now I am the freak in the wheelchair, not the freak with the weird accent.

All that missed schoolwork takes hard work to catch up on, as well as the endless physiotherapy, but I do not have much else to do and it keeps my mind busy—very busy.

The months go by in a whirl and my hard work pays off. By the time graduation arrives I can walk on my own two legs again and I graduate with honours, making Sean and my mum very proud.

What, of course, makes them even more proud is that Trinity accepts me into their medical program, but what makes Jane and me happy is that Trinity accepts her into the Law and Business Degree program. This means we will be able to share an apartment in Dublin.

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