The time arrives for me to leave my nest, and I must admit I am a little bit scared leaving the security of home, but I am so much more excited to go. I will be away from all the memories of Jared. I will be able to start fresh, without anybody knowing my past. A new place, new faces and most of all many new challenges to keep my mind occupied.

I want to drive myself to Dublin in my own car, but my mum and Sean insist I would not have any parking space, and I could use public transport in Dublin, so I would almost never need a car. Reluctantly I give in, and I suppose they are right—this time at least.

I start to think back to the plans Jared, and I made, it seems a lifetime ago, but I push these thoughts forcefully from my mind and enjoy the drive to Dublin with Sean, my mum and Esther.

Jane’s parents are driving her, which means we will arrive separately and will meet each other in our new future accommodation.

When I walk through the front door of my new home, I immediately feel grown up.

The apartment consists of two bedrooms and then a big open plan living area with the kitchen, lounge and dining area in one large room. All the walls are painted with an eggshell coloured paint and the floors are all covered with laminate wood.

There is a small oak kitchen table with four chairs in the dining area. In the lounge area there are two two-seat couches positioned across from each other, with the fireplace on one side, and a small television. There is a coffee table in the centre of the lounge area, with a multi-coloured carpet beneath it. The kitchen has a few cupboards, a hob, a fridge, washing machine and dishwasher. Jane’s room has a double bed, while my room only has a single bed, bedside table and a white wicker chair.

Jane and I already decided who gets which room. I happily insisted she take the room with the connecting bathroom and as it would always just be the two of us, the other bathroom will only be mine. If she receives guests, they would have to use her bathroom, we agreed, and vice versa. In the end, when I thought about it, I really got the best end of the arrangement, because now, if I got guests, if ever, they will not have to walk through my room to get to the bathroom. I might have to walk further myself, but at least my room will always remain private.

Sean carries all my belongings up from the car and he stacks my bags and boxes by the door of my new room.

After our families tour the apartment and then finally leave, Jane and I decide, because now we can do and eat as we please, to get take-out.

Jane saw a Chinese Restaurant not far from where our apartment block is, so we lock up and walk the short distance. We chatter excitedly about living in the big city, and we make plans of where to shop and which restaurants look nice to eat at.

When we get back to our apartment, it is still light outside. We are ecstatic, laughing and joking, carrying our bags and bags of food. I think we might have gone a bit overboard because, if we stored the food properly, we could be eating Chinese for a week—not a thrilling prospect.

To be brutally honest, there are moments I am glad to be away from my mum and Sean’s prying eyes, always looking at me apprehensively, as if anything they say might push me over the edge. More than that, I am pleased to be away from my mum’s over-protectiveness; it can get stifling at times.

I wonder if my parents would have let me come here to live with Jane if they did not know she is such a conscientious individual. Sometimes she seems older than what she actually is. I am so happy she is my friend and she has been with me through all my highs and lows, always supportive, never shying away from telling me how it is, and in turn, I try my best to be the same good friend to her. She has not caught on yet that I am a good actress, and she thinks I am so over Jared.

Surprise!

We sit on the carpet in the middle of the lounge, by the coffee table, and eat while music from Jane’s CD-player in the corner fill the room softly.

Jane says through a mouthful of food, “I am so nervous about tomorrow.”

“I know me too and don’t you think it is a bit scary having to cope with emergencies all by ourselves now?” Unsure feelings are filling my mind of being away from the safety of home.

She chuckles. “Let’s make a pact never to phone them with any emergencies, unless we obviously really have no choice.”

“Yeah. We should only call them for help when we have tried everything ourselves first to solve it.” I laugh. The exuberance of Jane manages to banish my thoughts of uncertainty.

When we are finished eating, we clear all the leftovers and cartons.

“Time to unpack,” I moan when the kitchen is tidy, and I start to walk down the passage to my room.

“See you on the other side,” Jane calls as she goes to her own room to unpack.

I drag my boxes and bags into my room and then I put posters up against my walls, place my CD-player on my bedside table with the lamp, make my bed and scatter cushions decoratively on it. I throw a warm, thick blanket crossways on the wicker chair in the corner of my room. I pull the chair closer to the window, so I can sit in it and look out the window, if I want to.

It is dark outside when eventually all the little things I brought with me to make this room my home away from home, is unpacked and I feel settled.

Sitting down in the chair, I look at my room approvingly. It looks cosy and homely. My eyes wander out my window at the city lights out there, and I wonder if I will see Jared tomorrow. Aaron did say he would be coming to Trinity after his gap year.

Jane knocks on my door softly. “I thought we could have some hot chocolate before we go to bed.”

“I hope we have hot chocolate,” I reply, as I get up from the chair.

Together we walk to the kitchen. While I stand in the middle of the kitchen area, Jane opens the kitchen cupboards, and they are bursting with food and supplies.

“They have been very busy.” I grin.

She claps her hands together gleefully. “At least we know we never have to starve or look for part-time jobs, all our attention can be focused on studying.”

“You are very excited.” I laugh with her.

“You cannot imagine how glad I am to be here, maybe now I will also find my one true love.” She catches her breath and then smiles regretfully.

“Please Jane, you know I am over it, so don’t you think it is about time you got over it. Maybe now I will also find someone new and move on.”

“Let’s make a second pact,” she suggests.

I chuckle, hoping I will be able to keep up with this new exuberant Jane. She continues, looking at me tentatively, “Promise we'll have fun this year?” After only an infinitesimal hesitation I say, “I promise.”

Happy she turns back to the kitchen counter and makes the hot chocolate. I lean against the kitchen counter, and she talks ceaselessly while she makes it, her back turned to me. She is wondering what classes will be like and if it will be a lot different than school.

After she hands my mug of hot chocolate to me, we walk across the small area to the lounge.

Jane sits down, tucking her legs in under her, and she says considerately, “I thought that if Aaron never looked at me the same way I feel, or if he could never be mine I would surely die, but when I eventually got him, he wasn’t what I wanted from the love of my life. Isn't it weird how a person can want someone so badly and then it is not what they expected?”

“I know, but for me it was different with Jared. The first time I saw him, my world was pulled out from under my feet and it was as if he is an extension of who I am…” I trail off for a moment and then laughing nervously, I continue, “But that was also not meant to be, now was it?”

She says pensively, “I wonder why he never tried to contact you? He probably drew back into his shell again, the same as when Sarah broke it off with him. Do you think he will be there tomorrow as well?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. We’re going to have fun this year, aren’t we?” I pretend to sound excited. I have really worked very hard to get into Trinity because he would be here, and this is the only thing that has kept me focused. I hope with all my heart I will see him tomorrow. I am holding onto this hope with all my might, and I think even if I only saw him from a distance each day it would at least feed my soul.

“I think we are most certainly going to have fun this year. I have a good feeling.” Jane sighs long and exaggerated as she gets up. “But now bedtime for me. Early start tomorrow.” She takes my mug from me and then she rinses them before putting them into the dishwasher.

“Good night,” I call as I walk down the corridor to my room.

“Sleep tight,” she calls from the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, I am under my bedding. Lying on my back I look up at my ceiling, waiting for sleep to snatch me away and bring tomorrow closer. However, it seems sleep cannot find me in my new bed. My mind will not switch off. I cannot stop thinking about Jared. I keep wondering what I would do if I saw him again face to face. To add to this, the cars below my bedroom window never seem to stop driving up and down the road. It is especially noisy after the quiet at my manor. This is going to take some time getting used to.

CONTINUE READING

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